The Ten Commandments: V–Honor Parents

HONOR OUR PARENTS

Jesus summarized all the commandments quite simply. He said we should love God and love others. Of the ten commandments, the first four focus on our relationship to God. The remaining six focus on our relationships with others.

The fifth commandment tells us to honor our parents. Our relationships with others begin with our relationships at home. It is in the home that we learn basic skills to interact with people. We learn to set aside selfishness. We learn how to resolve differences. How well we do that affects our actions outside the home. Strong families are the basic building blocks of a healthy society. Honoring our parents establishes an attitude of respect for others. On the other hand, a failure to honor parents, leads to a breakdown of society. Those who fail to respect their parents’ authority are more likely to ignore other authorities such as teachers, employers, or law enforcement.

Most parents, though not flawless, love their children and want what is best for them. Most parents, in their own way, try to do the best they know how. Our parents nurture us through infancy and childhood. They share their wisdom. They sacrifice for us. At the least, we can honor them by caring for them in old age. Jesus’s example shows how important this issue is for Him. Even as He suffered the agony of death on the cross, Jesus made provision for Mary’s care by entrusting her to John (John 19:26-27).

The commandment doesn’t address situations of abuse or neglect, though we know they exist. The commandment just tells us to honor our parents because that is what God intends. The truth is, no parents are free of faults. And all of us–parent, child, or sibling–need God’s help to live in harmony with others.

All families have their issues. No one is born with perfect parents. Nor do we have perfect brothers and sisters. And, we ourselves are not perfect. When a group of imperfect people are thrown together, conflict is inevitable. Honoring our parents includes respecting the other members of their household. As we work through family conflicts, we learn to love our families in spite of their flaws.

Even if we don’t agree with our parents, or we don’t want to follow their example, we can respect their position. We can be grateful to our parents because they gave us life–in a world that too often snuffs it out. God ordains what family each of us is born into. When we honor our parents, we honor God’s sovereignty over our lives.

In a larger sense, God has placed believers into His family (John 1:12). God is our Father, and we honor Him, by caring for our brothers and sisters in Christ. God expects us to care for widows, orphans, and the elderly.

When we honor our parents, and seek to be gracious to the family God has placed us in, we learn to interact more graciously with everyone we encounter. God wants us to offer help where it is needed. He wants us to treat people with grace and understanding. That begins with the people closest to us. We honor God, and show our love for Him, by seeking to love the people He has placed around us, especially those in our families.

Honor your father and your mother. . . Exodus 20:12 NIV

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Blessings,
Phyllis

© 2026 Phyllis l. Farringer

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