It’s not really unanswered prayer. God hears and answers the prayers of His children. Like a good parent, God wants to give good gifts to His children. He doesn’t always give us what we want. When we don’t get what we want, the prayer is not unanswered. Sometimes, God’s answer is, “No.”
We are to take our requests to God, and He often answers them generously. But prayer is not about getting what we want. It is about finding out what God wants. Prayer is about our relationship with our heavenly Father. It is about getting to know Him ever better. God is much wiser than we are. By prayer we seek His perspective. We receive His guidance. Following Jesus means denying our self and surrendering our will to His plans and purposes.
When we ask for the wrong thing, God will not grant it. He sees the long-term harm that may come from something we think desirable. Sometimes, God denies our request because we ask with wrong motives (James 4:3). Sometimes, we may ask God to remove something painful, but He doesn’t because He knows that very thing is needed in ways we don’t see in the moment.
When we encounter challenging, hard circumstances, our first inclination is often to try to pray them away. But God won’t remove something He considers necessary to our spiritual growth. The hard circumstance may be just what we need to soften our heart to be open to God’s bigger plan.
Paul the apostle had what he called a “thorn in the flesh.” Paul doesn’t specify what it was, but on three different occasions he begged God to remove it. Paul referred to this “thorn” as a messenger from Satan that tormented him. God did not remove it. Paul realized the thorn kept him from being conceited concerning the visions and revelations God had given him. He also learned that God’s grace is sufficient for all the hard things we may experience in life (2 Corinthians 12).
God uses people, events, and circumstances in our lives to shape us. There isn’t anything we have to do to secure our salvation. Salvation comes to us by grace alone, through faith. We put our faith in what Jesus did on the cross. He took the punishment for our sins. He paid a debt for us we could never pay on our own. Given a million years, we could never earn our way to heaven, no matter how many “good” things we accomplished, or how well we behaved. Jesus is our only hope. But once we have settled that issue, our behavior should improve. God spends the rest of our lives making us more like Jesus. He is preparing us to be fit for heaven.
It’s a life-long process. God has to remove from us things like pride, selfishness, and a critical spirit. A lack of love, bitterness, and a refusal to forgive all have to go. Some of the challenges we want to pray away stay in place because God is using them to mature us, to grow our character, to make us into who He intends for us to be.
God answers prayer. When He says, “No,” to one of our requests, He has good reason. We can trust Him. He knows what He is doing.
Since you have been raised to new life with Christ, set your sights on the realities of heaven, where Christ sits in the place of honor at God’s right hand. Think about the things of heaven, not the things of earth. So put to death the sinful, earthly things lurking within you. Colossians 3:1,2 and 5.
How have you been grateful for “unanswered” prayer in your life? Please leave a comment below.
Blessings,
Phyllis
© 2025 Phyllis L. Farringer
Image by Himsan from Pixabay
Once again, you are sharing
a valuable insight.
Thank you!
Thank you so much, Debby. I’m glad you found it helpful.
I’m thankful God listens, hears, and answers my prayers. And I’m very grateful that God changes me so I want what He wants – and gives me clear direction. Prayers for you!
Thank you, Joni. God does give clear direction. May we all learn to listen well.